The Modern Leading Lady: Balancing Power, Performance, and Perfectly Crafted Coffee.

My mother, Maureen Kennedy, was a leading lady in a bygone era – the operatic, theatre kind with an amazing bel canto soprano voice (think Dame Joan Sutherland). She starred in many stage productions and was always a leading lady. As a teenager I asked her if she ever sang in the chorus of any shows. 

“Oh no!” she replied, “once you’ve been a leading lady you don’t go back to the chorus.” 

My dad had been in the chorus for a while though – only to get close to the leading lady. High romance for sure. 

My mum wasn’t cocky, a show off or full of herself at all. In fact, she was extremely humble and had given up the stage to be a mum who was there for her kids. One thing for sure though – she knew that her talent, her training and her experience made her valuable. She only returned to stage once after we went to school to star in a performance of the Flower Drum Song. 

“Being a leading lady requires energy, poise, discipline and commitment,” she once told me. “Your name, your talent is a big part of carrying the show.” 

Sadly for me I didn’t inherit my late mother’s exceptional voice, my leading lady journey has been built instead in the business boardroom. 

Being a female leader in today’s business world is a bit like juggling flaming swords while riding a unicycle — simultaneously impressive and terrifying. The demands are endless, and the expectations even more so. One minute you're expected to manage multi-million-dollar projects, the next, you're called upon to settle a dispute between the office plants (which are, inexplicably, "stressed" about their light levels).

1. The Myth of "Having It All"

Let’s face it: The idea that women can "have it all" is the modern version of a fairy tale. Sure, there might be moments where everything aligns like a perfect Instagram post — a strong board presentation, a successful fundraising event, and your lunch still warm when you finally get a chance to eat it. But those moments are about as frequent as unicorn sightings. The reality is much more like trying to put together IKEA furniture with no instructions, while your dog barks at the neighbour’s cat.

2. Multitasking: The Ultimate Superpower

Being a female leader means having the uncanny ability to multitask like a superhero — without the cape, (though I do own several). You can lead a high-level strategy meeting while thinking about the quarterly budget, planning a community fundraiser, and wondering whether you left the hose on when you were watering your herb garden this morning. It's truly a talent that requires a deep understanding of how to do everything, but nothing at the same time.

3. Navigating the Double Standard

Ah yes, the delightful double standard. As a female leader, you’ll be praised for your "compassionate leadership style" when you're empathetic, and accused of being "too emotional" when you're assertive. You're expected to be a strategic mastermind with a heart of gold, and if you're too bold? Well, don’t worry, there’s always a well-meaning colleague ready to point out how "ambitious" you are. The key is to embrace the art of the graceful rhetoric — ideally learned early in one’s career.

4. The "You’re Not Like Other Women" Trap

One of the greatest honours, apparently, is when someone says, "You're not like other women." It's a compliment, right? Wrong. Because what they're really saying is, "You're a woman who conforms to the 'acceptable' mould of leadership — but in a way that's just different enough to be deemed ‘exceptional.’” Ah yes, because being a woman in power is supposed to be a rare, quirky phenomenon, like finding a needle in a haystack, rather than just being a regular leader with different genitalia.

5. The “Work-Life Balance” Unicorn

The phrase "work-life balance" is a concept that exists in theory, like the idea of a mythical creature that’s part tiger, part rain cloud. We all strive for it, of course, but the reality is more about "work-life adjustment" than balance. You adjust to 8pm board meeting, the 6am  one on one meeting, and the "quick 5-minute" Zoom call that somehow morphs into a 45-minute debate over a spreadsheet. The trick is learning how to laugh through it all, even if you’re one email away from a meltdown.

6. Learning to Laugh at Yourself

Finally, one of the most important skills a leading lady must cultivate is the ability to laugh at herself. Whether it’s tripping over your words in an important meeting, accidentally setting your phone ring tone to “Your Sex Is on Fire” and forgetting to mute it before a critical negotiation, or being 10 minutes late to a virtual conference because your dog decided your laptop was a chew toy — laughter is not just a coping mechanism; it's a survival strategy.

Being a modern leading lady requires equal parts patience, tenacity, humour, and a high tolerance for caffeine. It’s a wild ride, but if our mother’s era did and knew their value then we need to do them proud. So grab your coffee, straighten your blouse, and embrace the chaos — because being a female leader today is, without a doubt, one of the most rewarding performances in town.

Time to take centre stage? Your turn...

Hugs AJ

Alexandra Joy